One of the scariest things I realized shortly after being sent home from the hospital after my dx with T1D… I was responsible for a then 19 month old (Lilly), 10 hours per day, ALONE. At that point in time I was extremely sensitive to the effects of insulin weighing a whopping 90 lbs. I certainly could feel the symptoms of my glucose levels plummeting….the clammy skin, cold sweat, racing heart, shaking hands and white knuckles. Yes…I was terrified to take the very medicine I knew was keeping me alive. I felt alone, and other than my health care provider and hunting for the right endocrinologist to share hand written blood glucose logs with, I didn’t know who to talk to. I had heard about and was intrigued by the Dexcom CGM (continuous glucose monitor), but the thought of this on my body 24/hours a day seemed intrusive and a bit overwhelming.
Still, by the time Lilly reached 3 1/2, she would know what to do in case mommy was unresponsive and we did teach her how to dial 911. This was heartbreaking for me but I knew that it had to be done both for my safety and hers.
With the encouragement and support from my husband to plan a pregnancy (yes Grayson was then in the (very) back of my mind) and the desire for extremely tight control of my blood glucose, I decided to get the CGM (Dexcom)….and I will never look back as it has saved my life on numerous occasions, and along with my pump, made pregnancy with T1D a whole lot more manageable.
My current A1C : 5.7. While I now realize perfection with diabetes does not exist, this number along with data collected from my Dexcom represents the fact that I am within the normal range (70-180) 70% of the time. Do highs occur? Of course! Lows? Sure do! But the difference today is that I am no longer afraid…afraid to take my life support, insulin. I’m stronger on so many levels and have been blessed to have found my soul mate, friend and partner who has lifted me up when I was in the lowest of lows and given me the encouragement and support to stand up again (that’s you Justin). I know it’s a role you never realized you were signing on for, but in sickness and in health right? No one gets to see the real impact of diabetes…the mood swings, changes in personality, fists being thrown while nearly unconscious, the middle of night alarms beeping and early am squealing pump wake-up calls) quite like you do. I love you.
I’m never alone in this fight. All of the friends, family and individuals out there who have contributed so far to my JDRF ride thank you from the bottom of my heart! I know a cure is possible and the future is bright.